BELLA DILWORTH: CHAIR, DEI COLLABORATIVE

MINDFUL LEADERS IN THE LAW: An interview with Bella Dilworth

By Christopher J. Lhulier 

 Welcome to the June 2021 edition of the Mindful Leaders in the Law series.  Our goal, through this series, is not only to strengthen our community by sharing interesting conversations with some of the amazing individuals who make-up MILS. We hope, by spotlighting the paths and practices of others, to also inspire and empower our members to build their mindfulness practices in creative ways that are uniquely satisfying to them.

This month I had the chance to talk with MILS Board Member Bella Dilworth. Bella has been a lawyer with the Los Angeles County Public Defender’s Office for over 30 years. In addition to being a MILS Managing Board Member, Bella is the chair of the MILS Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) Collaborative. I asked Bella about how she began practicing mindfulness, the challenges of integrating mindfulness into the often stress-filled life of a public defender, her work with the DEI Collaborative and how she has used her mindfulness practice to counteract anxiety, anger and fear.  Many thanks to Bella for openly and vulnerably sharing her experiences and perspective on these important issues as well as others. 

Q: How did you begin practicing mindfulness?

A: Although my formal religious observances include meditation, I did not start practicing Mindfulness until 2012. I took my first classes at UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (MARC) with Diana Winston. I wanted to learn what MARC referred to as MAPS (Mindfulness Awareness Practices) to help me cope with my work stressors (ONE double homicide special circumstances that took me 7 years to prepare for trial) and overeating issues.

Q: I can imagine how your mindfulness practice could benefit your wellbeing in your career as a deputy public defender. Have you been able to integrate mindfulness into your law practice to some degree?

A: Yes. Once I learned some mindfulness practices I tried to use them to the best of my ability. There are many quick simple practices that were especially useful for the daily unpredictability of an urban courtroom. Other meditative or solitary practices and study developed more resiliency which was helpful in both long and short jury trials.

My only regret is that I came to mindfulness so late in my career.  I had personally suffered. I was known as a “disrespectful” hothead . I do not have a poker face and what I was thinking would often come out of my mouth in anger or outrage. I was also aware of colleagues who suffered with alcohol and drug addictions, including a beloved and dedicated lawyer who was struck and killed by a car after she drunkenly stumbled into traffic. Or another colleague who just stepped in front of a commuter train.  Injustices and the resulting anger were unrelenting. Our clients had no voice or credibility within the system that decided whether they would live the rest of their lives in a cage with a concrete floor, metal sink and scratchy blanket.

Mindfulness taught me to recognize and try to take advantage of that space between thought and action. It taught me that I could respond and not just re-act . It taught me to do the most honest and competent job for each client and then not to absorb the outcomes whether they are favorable or not.

Q: Have you ever had the opportunity to introduce mindfulness to any of your clients or co-workers?

A: Immediately after I graduated from Warrior One’s year long Mindfulness In Law Teacher Training (MILS Board Member Judi Cohen’s program in northern California), I offered a  weekly lunchtime sit at the small branch where I was working; however, more often than not, people would just drop by my office, shut the door and I would share a technique, a podcast, a book or an article. Some of those friends, I still meet for meditation and courses.

Q: You are one of the leaders of MILS’ new initiative, the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Collaborative (the DEI Collaborative). Can you generally describe some of the DEI Collaborative’s goals?

A: The overarching purpose of the MILS DEI Collaborative is to explore how mindfulness can facilitate and help navigate the challenges to inclusion in the legal profession and the challenges to inclusion to society as a whole.

The specific work of the MILS DEI Collaborative is to engage in dialogue and develop alliances, programs and initiatives as they become relevant. This work includes, but is not limited to, programming to address challenges and solutions unique to the legal profession with particular emphasis on the intersection between resilience and wellbeing and social responsibility and the Common Good.

Q: You led mindfulness exercises at the April 2021 conversation that MILS co-hosted with its partner, the National Black Law Students Association, on Race, Policing, and Mindfulness. Is this the type of work the DEI Collaborative is going to get more involved with going forward? If so, what other types of initiatives do you see the DEI Collaborative taking on?

A: Yes, we intend to develop more partnerships with various groups.  Inherent in any true partnership is the fact that any programs will be formulated in accordance with the interests of our partners, current events and the availability of experts and speakers.

Multiple Collaborative members are also working with the Retreat Committee which existed prior to the DEI Collaborative . Finally, starting in July each Collaborative member will introduce themselves and their personal goals to the MILS Board in a brief presentation.

Q: What argument would you make to convince a young lawyer or law student, particularly one who is a member of an underrepresented community, that having a mindfulness practice is an important part of their long term success as an attorney? 

A: Most of my friends are young lawyers. Most modern people  would agree that in order to avoid physical disease for as long as possible, and/or injury, you have to take care of your body. In a non-secular context I simply tell them that they must guard, train and fortify their mental resources. Not only for the benefit of their clients but for self-preservation, happiness and overall mental health.

Q: Do you have a go to mindfulness practice for those days when you do not have time to do a formal sitting?

A:  I often silently recite Metta for myself and others when I am anxious, angry, scared or just feeling plain hateful. Sometimes I scribble Metta phrases in the margins of my legal pads or tap them out on my laptop or tablet at counsel’s table. If I have to take or make an actual telephone call I try to remember something Thich Nhat Hanh suggested in one of his slim books that I kept in my desk. I stop to consider my intentions and to wish the other party well. It really changed my tone. During law in the time of Zoom and Webex - I just smile.

Q: Do you have a favorite quote or expression about mindfulness that reminds you of why mindfulness is a priority in your life?

A: I was born into the Los Angeles car culture so my favorite quote is: “Mindfulness is a seatbelt for the mind.”  Mindfulness protects me from the inevitable fender benders and collisions and keeps me from being ejected onto the pavement and run over by life.